


Bedroom Secrets

by NormalFreeZone



Category: teen wolf - Fandom
Genre: Adult Humor, Crack, F/M, Gen, Humor, M/M, Scott and Stiles BROtp for life, Sex Humor, short and fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-23
Updated: 2012-12-23
Packaged: 2017-11-22 04:56:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/606050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NormalFreeZone/pseuds/NormalFreeZone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For some reason the boys of Beacon Hill High School can’t keep themselves sharing a little too much info about their sex lives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bedroom Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what inspired this. I think I mostly like it because of Derek at the end. XD  
> Enjoy.

Today was going to be weird. Very weird. At first it seemed like any other school day. Teen rolling out of bed, getting dressed and making their way to school. Honestly, they hadn't thought it would be anything other than a normal day. Even after Scott had sighed and asked Stiles, to just shut up and let him think about Alison's tits. The two teenager had paused for a moment staring at each other, Stiles offended and Scott surprised he had actually said those words. It was confusing, usually Scott wasn't so forward about his impure thoughts. But that was just the beginning and nothing compared to what was to come.

As the pair walked to class, they both began to notice that something was off. A couple was fighting loudly in the hall. Another girl slapped a member of the lacrosse team. It seemed everyone was on edge, and everywhere students looked surprised and offended. But the true confirmation of the days weirdness had come during chemistry, when Mr. Harris had smugly asked one of his many male students if he had done the reading he has assigned for homework, instead of surfing for porn like he did. Most in the class had missed the last part of Mr. Harris' comment, as he was always making rude comments about the teenage boys being too obsessed with sex.

Until without even flinching the student answered. "No. I watched porn and jerked off while thinking about Lydia Martin."

As soon as Lydia's name was mentioned everyone in the classroom had stopped completely frozen. Every student turned to stare back at the young man who had announced his nightly deeds. His mouth hung open, flabbergasted.

Scott and Stiles exchanged glances. Something was up.

Mr. Harris glared at his big mouthed student and smugly opened his mouth to berate the boy. "We've all masturbated to thoughts of Lydia Martin, you idiot...."

The entire glass turned their surprised gaze to their teacher, who stood in front of them in shock. Mr. Harris' stood frozen, his mouth hanging ajar. That had not been what he had meant to say.

Something was defiantly going on at Beacon Hill's High. The fear-some two-some of Scott McCall and Stiles Stilinski didn't have much of a problem sneaking out of class after that, considering the sudden strange disturbance with all the male in the school. Chemistry became study hall, as Mr. Harris suddenly wasn't feeling very well, and needed to leave quickly. Around them they could hear the other boys were having the same issue. Every time they opened their mouths, they could barely manage a sentence without spilling their guts about one of their sexual habits or fantasies.

Stiles was having a fit, rambling off idea after idea of what it could possibly be going on, with little random facts of his sex life (or lack their of) thrown randomly on the list.

"I used to masturbate with a teddy bear. Maybe its witches!?" Stiles said seeming completely unfazed what he had first said.

"Witches? Why would they want to do this? Alison once let me finger her in the lunch room bathroom." Scott slapped his mouth over his mouth. He couldn't help himself. Every time he tried to talk another bedroom secret spilled out of him.

Stiles stared at his friend for a moment. "We have to figure out whats going on here. I used to jerk off during lunch in that bathroom. Every dude in school is suddenly word vomiting. Its gotta be some kind of magic." Stiles flailed.

Scott just stared at his friend for a minute about the jerking off during lunch comment.

Stiles just shrugged. "Freshman." Stiles mouthed the word without a sound.

"I don't know man. Does magic even really exists? Alison and me..." Scott was suddenly cut off as Stiles slapped both his hands over his face.

Stiles stared at his friend in horror, the last thing he wanted to hear about was Scott and Alison's personal affairs. They were close but they weren't that close "Can you hold it in man? My porn file..." Stiles slapped one of his hands of his own mouth.

Scott shook his head. He couldn't hold it in, he had started the sentence and it was killing him not to finish it. Scott jerked his head back behind him signaling that he would go one way, and for Stiles to go the other way. Stiles furiously shock his head yes. The two clamped their hands over their own mouths and ran down the hall in opposites directions to spill their guts to the first empty corner they could find.

This was going to be a hectic day.

Scott found his friend, several minutes later, outside of his locker, slamming his head into it. Before Scott could open his mouth to ask Stiles why hitting his head against his locker. Stiles glared up him and held up his cell phone. Stiles pointed at the device furiously. Realizing what his friend wanted, Scott smile and nodded, pulling out his own phone.

Scott: What happened?  
Stiles: I got to hear about Mr. Finstocks' love for his only testicle.

Scott made a horrified face as he read the text message. Stiles just nodded looking down in disgust.

Scott: What the hell are we going to do?  
Stiles: I don't know man we have to find out whats causing this?  
Scott: They can't keep school open today! Do you think Alison's grandfather would cancel classes today.  
Stiles: They are going to have to this is ridiculous dude. You don't even want to know the things I've already said.

As if on cue the schools loud speaker cut in, and the voice of Alison's mother announced that all classes after first period would be canceled due to a sudden out break of the flu, and until then first period all classes would be used as study hall. Stiles and Scott both rolled their eyes. The flu? Seriously. At least it was an excuse, and at least it wasn't one of the male teachers or Gerard who had made the announcement. The two boys cringed in unison as the thought of what Alison's grandfather might be confessing.

Stiles glanced at the clock on his phone. It was 15 minutes until the end of first period. They had to figure out what was going on before everyone left, because no one knew how long it would last. Was it just contained to the high school or was it the whole town?

Stiles held up his phone waving it around signifying that he was going to text Scott.

Stiles: We have to figure this out. Who know what they could actually be?  
Scott: But how?  
Stiles: Text someone who knows? Do you no anyone who might know about magic?  
Scott: Only Dr. Deaton really, maybe Derek.  
Stiles: Well start texting! I'll start googling it.

The two nodded in agreement as they both went to work, fingerings moving furiously on their phones. Little clicking sounds following them as they walked. Without thinking both began making their toward the front entrance of the school. School was going to let out in a matter of minutes after all. As they walked from behind them they heard a loud slam.

"YOU TWO!" A familiar voice yelled.

Scott and Stiles whipped about quickly to watch Jackson stomp his way toward them, seething with rage. Jackson raised and accusing finger at both of them, and opened his mouth to speak.

"I like it when Lydia puts her fingers up my ass!!!" Jackson bellowed out.

A moment passed as the three boys soaked in what had just happened. Scott and Stiles tried desperately not to giggle, while Jackson glanced around in confused horror. Jackson finally gather himself, turning his attention back to his two teammates. His rage was rolling off him in waves.

"I'm going to kill you both." Before any other words could escape his mouth Jackson snapped his jaw shut, clenching it tight and pushed his way passed the still giggling Scott and Stiles. Jackson kicked open the doors to the front entrance at the end of the hall and stormed away.

Well at least some of this was entertaining.

Finally the two boys turned their attention back to each other. Scott lifted his phone and began typing.

Scott: I texted Deaton and Derek. No response yet. Anything?  
Stiles: I looked up stuff about magic and spells about secrets. There's a lot dude, a bunch of them with herbs and shit.

Scott began to type something about first period almost being out, before he could hit send the bell rang. The two friends flailed out their frustrations as the doors to the class rooms all swung open and students flooded out. Everyone was in a daze, all the male students looked confused and ashamed, most of them staring down at the ground. While the female students all looked thoroughly wierded out. Scott and Stiles followed the first wave of students out the main entrance and down the stairs, to find someone they hadn't been expecting.

Derek stood on the side walk in front of the school, clad in his usual dark jeans, and leather jacket. His Camaro parked in the no park zone just a few feet away. The confused students parted around him like water as they made their way home like zombies. Derek spotted Scott and Stiles and waited for them to reach him before he addressed them. Scott wanted to warn the older werewolf but how exactly was he going to say "Don't talk!" without rambling about his own dick, or Derek ripping his head off.

"Why have I been getting weird messages from Issac and Erica all morning? I've had dreams about Stiles blowing me." Derek continued not even realized what he had said. "And whats this text about magic?"

Suddenly Derek froze as he realized the words that had come from his mouth. In front of him Scott and Stiles stared at him. Scott's eyes were wide as he chomped down on his bottom lip trying not to laugh. Stiles on the other hand stared at Derek confused, unsure of how to feel. Had Derek Hale just said he dreamed about getting a blow job from him? Stiles mouth open and shut, contorting into strange shapes as his mind played through all the emotions.

Derek just stood there, frozen, his mouth hanging open, staring into nothing. He clamped his mouth shut, and glared past the two teens at nothing, making sure not to look at either of them, as his cheeks began to turn a faint pink. Derek was pretty sure he knew what Scott had meant by magic. This certainly wasn't normal. Derek lowered his eyes, when a sudden tingle in his nose caught his attention. The alpha werewolf raised his head sniffing the air. He could smell something. Something near by. It was herbs of some mixture, but stronger than that. It was magic. Derek's face lite up as he looked to Scott.

"I can smell it!" Derek said, than clamped his mouth shut, choking back the next words. He looked around frantically trying to figure something out. It was going to come out one way or another. Derek growled and shoved his mouth into his arm, yelling out muffled nonsensical words.

Scott's face lite up, understanding what Derek had meant in that one short sentence. He had smelled it. Someone was using some kind of magic or spell. Scott slapped Stiles than signaled him to start looking, it was around here. Someone was around here. As the two teens whipped around they had no idea what they were looking for. Between them Derek scented the air again, than pointed toward a group of teenager heading toward a bus.

Stiles squinted scanning the crowed. This was like searching for a needle in a hay stack. What where they even looking for? That's when Stiles spotted something that was out of the ordinary, or rather was a little too ordinary. As all the other teenagers moved around confused and disoriented, one short, shy looking girl in glasses, smiled brightly. She made her way through the crowd from boy to boy, talking to them. Most of the teenage boys she stopped slapped themselves in the face at their responses, or just cringed. While the rest just walked away ashamed. Yet all of their responses only made her smile brighter.

Stiles slapped at Scott and Derek next to him and pointed her out in the crowed. He didn't wait for them notice her before he pushing his way past the other students trying to get to her. She had to be the one. Who would be enjoying this that much? Granted, parts of it where funny. She seemed a little too happy about the responses she was getting. Behind him, Scott and Derek followed. Stiles forced his way through the crowed until he reached her, grabbing her by the arm and jerking her back seconds before she boarded on of the school buss.

"Hey what are you doing!?" She yelped helplessly as she was dragged back away from the buss.

Without a words, Scott snatched the girls backpack from her, glancing to Derek to get a confirmation that they were on the right track. Derek snorted, than nodded glaring at the short female. Scott turned her back her backpack upside down, ripping open the zippers, and emptying it out on to the pavement. Mean while Stiles was searching her person.

"Why are you doing this?" She pouted, looking helpless. That was until Derek spotted the white cloth sack filled with herbs that had fallen out of her backpack, and snatched it up, that her expression turned to panic.

Derek glared at the girl, who suddenly looked terrified, and pulled a zippo lighter from his pocket. Derek flipped the zippo open, lighting it in one motion, held the cloth sack up ready to put the light to it.

"NO! Don't burn it!" Stiles yelled grabbing Derek's arm stopping him. Stiles tried to force his mouth shut, trying to hold back what was trying to come next. He sputtered and spit, trying to keep the words in. Until finally frustrated enough, Stiles jerked back back Derek's arm and buried his face in the leather, yelling out his confession much the same way the alpha wolf had done.

Stiles pulled back panting, than snatched the cloth sack from Derek's hands. They couldn't burn it, Stiles remembered reading. It would just make the magic stronger. Whatever the damn thing was, the spell was following it. Stiles ripped the tie off the sack and ran to a near by patch of grass, dumping the sack of herbs onto the ground. Stiles stomped on the grass and the fallen herbs for good message, than proceeded to behind ripping the sack up. God, he hoped this worked. When he was done Stiles was still panting but everyone was now looking at him.

Looking around at all the staring face, Stiles paused awkwardly. He swallowed hard than took a chance. "I hate bugs." Stiles announced, trying to seem calm and collected.

Stiles said nothing else after that. No horrible confession. Just awkward, hyperactive Stiles. The crowd of turned back to what they were doing, brushing off the hyperactive teen, all of them trying to find their way home. As the minutes past and he affects of the spell bag wore off the crowd of teenager began to chatter with talk.

With the girl, Scott and Derek both out a heavy sigh. Scott was the first to address her. "What the hell was all that about?" He asked, a firm hand on her arm holding her in place.

Mean while Derek just glared at her.

"I just...wanted to know if guys thought I was pretty." She looked down at the ground shyly.

Stiles jogged up, catching what she had said just in time. "You wanted guys to tell you, you were pretty so you used a magic sack to make every dude around spill their sex guts?"

She nodded.

Stiles shook his head and gave a quick flail. "Dude, that's all kinds of messed up."

Scott stared at her surprised. "You know didn't have to use magic. You could have just asked them!" Scott said releasing her arm.

The girl just stared down at the ground, embarrassed. "I'm sorry." She looked around at her scattered books and school work. With a sigh Scott stooped down to help her gather her things.

"Just don't do something like that again Ok." Scott helped her pack her bag and handed it over.

The girl nodded, her eyes large and expression dreamy as she smiled on Scott. Taking her bag she muttered a thank you and smiled, than glanced to Derek.

Derek loomed over the girl, staring angrily down at her. "Don't. Ever. Sleep."

The girls eyes popped open wide behind her glasses, her dreamy expression gone, as she stumbled back away from him. Than turned and ran to catch her bus.

Scott, Stiles and Derek stood watching the girl run away from them, and scamper aboard her buss. "Wow Derek. I think you made a 14 year old girl pee herself." Stiles said sarcastically giving the angry alpha werewolf a pat on his back.

Derek turned his glare on Stiles, but quickly looked away, his cheeks turning a faint red again. He than turned and marched back to his car. Not saying a word to either boy.

Scott sighed and brushed a hand back through his hair, but it was Stiles that spoke. "Well, today takes the grand master award for weird day."

"I know its not even noon and I'm exhausted." Scott checked his watch. They had the rest of the day off from school, and all Scott wanted to do was lock himself in his room and sleep.

"I know what you mean." Stiles sighed. "I think I'll just got home and you know...Er! Re!" Stiles made a lewd motion with his fist, that made Scott groan.

"We're never talking about any of this ever again." Scott proclaimed as he started his way back to his bike. "Especially that." He pointed to Stiles, not even looking at him. Stiles would know what he meant.

"Deal." Stiles actually agreed. Although the whole thing with Jackson had been hilarious.

Suddenly both boys came to a halt as their path was blocked by a strawberry blond in heals. Lydia looked at both boys, knowingly that some how they had something to do with the events of today. "What do all the guys keep saying they jerk off to my year book picture?"

Scott and Stiles just groaned.

~ End


End file.
